Through the Eyes of a Son
by VampireWine
Summary: A 5 and 1 companion piece to Blue Eyes from Jim's POV
1. The Day He was Born

**Through the Eyes of a Son: A Companion Piece for Blue Eyes**

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Standard Disclaimers Apply

AN: This is a five and one story from Jim's POV that is a companion piece to Blue Eyes a five and One from Winona's POV. The first chapter of Blue Eyes takes place the day Jim was born. I found it impossible to write a new born's POV so chapter one of this story with take place on Jim's fifth birthday. All of the other chapters will match up with the ones it Blue Eyes.

Special thanks to RogueAngel. She asked for this, so here it is.

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I - The Day He was Born

It was his special day! That's what Ms. Zimms said. Today Jimmy turned five and that was the best thing ever. Mommy would comm him today too. Last month on Sam's special day she commed and talked to Sam for two whole hours. He couldn't wait. Mommy had been in space for a long time and he missed her. He had so many thing to tell her. He sat down by the comm unit and pulled out some of his toys. He didn't know when she would comm so he needed to stay close to the unit. He didn't want to miss it. He waited and he waited and he waited. When he didn't think he could stand it anymore he kept waiting. He couldn't leave and risk missing Mommy.

It was bedtime. His special day was over. Mommy didn't comm like she did on Sam's day. What happened? Did Mommy forget? How could Mommy forget his special day?

He missed her. He was going to tell her that if she came home he would make sure not to make her sad anymore. Maybe she got attacked by space pirates? Yea, that must be it! Mommy got attacked by space pirates and that's why she missed his special day. She would comm him tomorrow.

Winona Kirk does not comm home for another three weeks.

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AN: I know this seems a little choppy but I was trying to look at like from a five year old POV. I figured things might be a little out there. The next chapters Jim will be older and things will flow better and make more sense.

What do you think of the first chapter, like it, hate it, print it and burn it?


	2. The Day He Crashed a Car

**Through the Eyes of a Son**

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A five and one story from Jim's POV that is a companion piece to Blue Eyes a five and One from Winona's POV.

Standard Disclaimers Apply

AN: I'm so sorry it took so long to get this out. I went to visit my parents and thought that I'd be able to write while I was there but my muse ran screaming the minute I stepped through the front door. Here is chapter two.

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II - The Day He Crashed a Car

He didn't regret it. No matter how many times Frank beat him he would never regret what he did to the car. He had had just a few moments of glorious freedom but it had been worth all of the pain he had been through in the last few weeks. That car belonged to his father and it was better that it was in a fiery heap at the bottom of the quarry than in some stranger's possession.

Ma was coming home today. Frank had commed her about the car and she had cut her mission short. Jim wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He wanted her to come home. He wanted her to come home and never leave him again, but he knew that was impossible. He was the reason that she went away. It didn't matter what he did or how good he was Ma would get a strange look in her eyes sometimes and then she would get sad. It was like she was seeing someone else when she looked at him. She would go to space when it got really bad. He misses her but it's his fault she goes away. Maybe if he doesn't look at her she won't be sad.

The minute she sees him Ma she pulls him into a tight hug and he has to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. Her hugs aren't gentle and the beating Frank gave him the day before left his body really sore. She notices that something is wrong and Frank breaks the 'why your sons are no good' rant he's on long enough to tell her that they're from the crash. He wants to tell her the truth but he was given orders no to upset Ma and he was forbidden from crying to her about his punishments. Frank's wrath will be swift and harsh if he says anything.

The hardest part about their reunion is not looking at her. Jim wants to stare at her face and soak her in but he can't, it will make her sad. He keeps away as much as he can. If he isn't around than she can't get sad and if she isn't sad she won't go to space. It's a good plan.

It's been two months since she came home and despite his best efforts Ma's getting sad again. He doesn't know what he's doing wrong! Frank is getting mean too. There haven't been anymore beatings but once Ma leaves they'll probably start again. Sam's restless and that is never a good thing.

When he wakes up and realizes that Sam is gone his world falls apart. Everyone leaves him and he can't figure out why. Frank is screaming, Ma is crying, and he is all alone. When Frank brings Sam home something ignites within him. It's like when he took the car. The feeling of 'must do something' is overwhelming and the rush of rightness is overpowering. Frank pounds on Sam and Ma does nothing. She stands there watching and Jim wants to scream at her to help. He makes a split decision. He will not let Frank hurt them anymore. He'll kill the bastard if he has too. The phaser feels perfect in his hand and Frank falls down just like he is suppose too. He looks to Ma to see what to do next but the expression on her face freezes him. She's seeing someone else again and it's worse than ever before. It hurts and he's angry and if he doesn't put the phaser down he might be tempted to shoot her. He flees and doesn't look back. It's days before he talks to her again. When they do speak it's because she's sending Sam and him away. Tarsus IV?

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AN: I didn't get the response to this story that I did to Blue Eyes so I really want to know what you guys think of this story. If it's not interesting and you don't want to read it tell me. I always swore that I would never be one of those authors who begged for reviews but I'm on my knees here. If I don't get a good enough response I'll assume it's crap and trash this piece and start on my next story. Please review!

Like it, hate it, print it and burn it? Tell me please!


	3. The Day He Survived From Tarsus IV

Through the Eyes of a Son

Standard Disclaimers Apply

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III - The Day He Survived From Tarsus IV

Jim Kirk stood in the kitchen of the farm house in Iowa and tried to remember how to breath. He was home (whatever that meant) but nothing would ever be the same. Sam was dead. He had watch him die and done nothing to save him. He was too weak. An empty feeling hallowed him out. It was painful and dark and he wanted to scream and scream until someone made everything better. It would never be better.

He slowly moved around the room, opening cabinets and gathering food. He would eat now and save some for later. He had learned the value of food on Tarsus IV and he would never forget it.

A sound echoed in the entryway and Jim spun around. His hand moved to the knife hidden in his pants as he faced the new comer. Winona. He wasn't sure how to deal with her just yet. She had spent half of the time he had been home trying (and failing) to speak to him. The other half she passed crying on her bed. He wondered how long it would be until she left for space again. The sooner the better. He didn't want to have to put up with her for too long.

She reached out to stroke his cheek and he quickly batted her hand away. She was lucky he remember to let go of the blade before he hit her. Her face crumpled and she seemed to shrink into herself. He waited to see if she would try anything again.

Emotions began to play across her face and Jim felt his stomach twist. Suddenly there was a distant look in her eyes that he had learn to recognize. She was thinking of George and she was seeing George in him. A fury that he not gripped him since he day he watched Frank beat his brother poured through him. Turning he ran from the house to seek peace. Winona didn't follow and he was glad but as night swept in there was something deep inside of him that hurt. She was his mother, wasn't she suppose to save him for the dark?

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Like it, hate it, print and burn it? Tell me please.


	4. The Day He Chose Starfleet

Blue Eyes

Standard Disclaimers Apply

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IV - The Day He Chose Starfleet

He had joined Starfleet. For most of his life people had been comparing him to his father. They told him he needed to make a dead man proud. That he had to live up to the memory of George Kirk. Teachers, counselors, and even recruiting officers had all tried to make him reach his potential and make his father's sacrifice worth it. He had said to hell with all of them. What did they know about him? He wasn't stupid, he couldn't be who they wanted him to be. He could never be George Kirk.

When Captain Christopher Pike sat down to talk with him in the backwater dive of a bar he had sat and listened only because he was to dizzy from his latest fight to leave. The man had started by talking about his father and Jim prepared himself for the recruitment speech that was coming. He go far in Starfleet, do new things, meet interesting beings. All he had to do in return was be his father. The too smart for an Iowa farm boy insulting comebacks that were on the tip of his tongue died when Pike did something no one else had ever done. He dared Jim to be better than his father. He didn't want him to be his father, he wanted him to be more.

Jim Kirk never could turn down a challenge. He wondered what it would be like to surpass his father, to finally leave the dead man shadow. He got on the shuttle, joined Starfleet, and decided to graduate in three years.

One month into classes life was going well. Jim was finding himself and even though there were still whispers about how he was George Kirk's son he was escaping his past life. He was even beginning to put aside the fact that he had killed Sam. A vision of a future was starting to come together and he like what he was seeing. Then she had shown up. Looking back he should have expected it but after so much time had gone by he had figure she hadn't cared what he had done.

The moment he saw Winona punch Pike his anger began to raise. How dare she! It was clear that the Captain had no idea who she was or why she had attacked him. The woman had gone crazy. He had to get rid of her.

Jim saw a light of realization flicker through Pike's eyes as he came up behind Winona. The Captain actually smiled the second before Jim grabbed her. As he tried to contain his thrashing mother Jim felt Bone's brush past him. Good, Pike's nose had looked broken. When Winona sagged he pulled her tighter leery of a trick. He wouldn't put it past the blond woman. He looked down at her and felt his whole body tense.

Winona had that look in her eyes again. The one that said she was in a different time, seeing a different person. Jim felt his anger begin to mount again. He wanted to hurt her. To make her feel the pain she had always pushed on him. He truly lashed out at her for the first time.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Winona?" Jim took a sick pleasure when she flinched at the use of her first name.

"Have you finally gone complete insane or have you always been this crazy? Do you realize that you just hit one of my superiors? That could cause repercussion for me. Did you think of that? Hmm… Maybe you did and you just didn't care. It would fit your MO. You are one sorry excuse for a mother."

She was fading farther into whatever she was seeing. It was getting hard for her to breath. He couldn't believe it. Why did she always do this to him? "You can't…not safe…come home."

She came here to bring him home? He laughed quietly to himself and intensified his verbal assault. "You think I want YOU to save me? That I NEED you to save me. Please, Winona I wouldn't go anywhere with you if my life depended on it. I've been here for a month. Why come now? Was it the only convenient time or did it take you this long to figure out I was gone. Don't you understand you worthless excuse for a mother. I'm not going back to Iowa. I'd rather die!"

She pulled herself out of his arms and he looked towards Pike as Bones told him his nose was broken. Big surprise there. He turned his sights back to Winona. She looked so pathetic that for a moment he almost felt sorry for what he was doing.

The feeling vanished when he realized that she was having trouble looking him in the eye. A thousand memories rushed through his mind. He saw childhood moments spent wondering why she wouldn't look at him. Why she hated him. His rage finally boiled over.

"Look at me Winona. Can you do that? Look me in the eye and see me for once. It's not that hard. DO IT!" The woman faltered a turned her head away. Jim couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. He had never called her on it before and now that he did it was both freeing and damning.

He threw one last statement out before walking away. "Go back to Iowa you crazy bitch and never come back. I don't want to see you ever again." He walked away and never looked back.

Later as Bones was bitching at him for treating his mother that way (even if she was crazy.) Jim asked him if Winona had looked up as he left. He said "No."

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AN: Hey, I promised you guys that I would finish this and I will. Now I want you opinion on something. In Blue Eyes the last chapter is happy, but I left it open for at the end so that Son's Eyes could end on a sad note if I wanted. How do you want this to end, happy or sad?

Like it, hate it, print and burn it? Let me known please.


	5. The Day He Recieved Command

Through The Eyes Of A Son

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Standard Disclaimers Apply

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Chapter Five: The Day He Received Command

Jim Kirk stared out at the sea of classmates cheering for him. He still couldn't believe it. They were giving him the Enterprise. He couldn't wait to get back into space. He had the best ship and the greatest crew and it was going to be amazing. He was going to make something of himself. It was time to be proud of who he was.

Jim watched as the families of his fellow classmates filled the room. Family had never been important to him. One parent was dead and the other couldn't look at him. He had spent a great deal of time resenting the people that gave him life.

That was going to change. He had never known his Father but his Mother was still alive and if the loss of Vulcan had taught him anything it was to love your Mother while you still could. So Jim had contacted Winona, invited her to the graduation and made an effort to reconnect. He needed to do this. He needed to try. He and his Mother had a lot of catching up to do.

He searched for her for ten minutes before the truth began to sink in. He gave it another fifteen before he admitted that she wasn't there. Winona hadn't come. She had promised and she hadn't shown up. Memories of missed school functions and important event stirred his mind and a twenty five year old Jim Kirk asked the same question he had been asking since he was five years old. Why hadn't she come?

"Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim!" A tug at his pants leg pulled him from his dark thoughts and he turned his attention to the cutest five year old he had ever seen.

"Hug?" Joanna McCoy melted his heart as she held her little arms out. Jim bent down and picked her up squeezing her tight. Tickling her until she belly laughed and begged him to stop. When she pulled back in his arms, still laughing, Kirk felt the shadows of the past being swept away.

"Where is you Daddy, JoJo?"

"Her Daddy is right here." Bones's gruff voice was laced with humor. For some reason he always found the sight of Jim hold Joanna funny.

As Bones came closer to talk with the five year old about wondering away Jim scanned the room one last time. He didn't see his Mother but he did see the men and women who had survived Hell with him. Family was important, but not all families were related by blood.

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What did you think? Tell me please.

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	6. The Day He was Born 2

Through the Eyes of a Son

Standard Disclaimers Apply

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Jim Kirk had been called many things in his life. When he was a child he was a son, brat, brother, juvenile delinquent, and a repeat offender. After accepting a dare he was a best friend, uncle, cadet, captain, hero and later a husband. Now he was taking on a whole new title, Dad. It was a scary thought, Jim Kirk a father.

He was sitting on the floor the across the hall from the open doorway into the nursery. He could hear Winona cooing and singing to his son. It made him slightly uneasy to leave her alone with the Chris. He knew that she knew how to take care of a baby and that she would never do anything to hurt him but he was still leery of letting her get to close. She had rejected him and made him fell unwanted for most of his life. He didn't want that for his son.

Jim turned his head as Spock sat down beside him. It was a bit surprising to see the half Vulcan sitting on the floor but Spock had been doing a lot of out of character things lately. Jim wondered if it had anything to do with the two year old little girl sitting in his lap.

"Uncle Jim, I need to see Chris." The way the Vulcan child talked never stopped amazing Jim. No two year old should be able to speak that well.

Before he could say anything Spock answered for him. "Amanda, we have already talked about this. Chris is sleeping, you must let him rest. You may see him later."

The child twitched and Jim had to bit his cheek to keep from laughing. "I will not wake him." She turned back to him. "Uncle Jim, explain to A'nirih that I may see Chris."

Spock shot him a look and Jim huffed. Amanda's request was cute and usually he gave her anything she asked for (something she had figured out) but he needed to say no this time. "Sorry Mandy but your A'nirih is right. Chris is sleeping. Besides, his grandmother is spending time with him right now. You don't want to interrupt that do you?"

"Yes." He should have been expecting that one. The girl was beginning to become agitated. It looked like she was on the verge of a Vulcan temper fit. He needed to distract her.

"Why do you need to see him right now?"

The child raised her eyebrow and Jim swore that she looked exactly like Spock did when Jim asked what he considered a stupid question. "I must make sure he is well."

Jim's eyes shot to Spock's. What? An instant later he heard his son begin to cry. He got up to check on him. He was half way to the door when he heard sounds of a struggle. Amanda was in Spock's arms working herself into very human temper fit. He turned back towards the nursery when Spock raised his hand to the child's temple.

Fatherhood was going to be interesting.

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Winona seemed to have everything under control. She seemed slightly amused that he was so worried about Chris crying but she didn't say anything about it. She shooed him away and continued to rock his son. The boy quieted and Jim walked towards the door. He turned around to take one last look at the two of them and froze. Winona was staring at the baby with a strange look in her eyes. It was a look that Jim knew very well.

Christopher Kirk was not a ghost George Kirk and Jim would not let Winona treat him like he was.

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A'nirih means Father in Vulcan (I think.)

AN: Well it's finished, what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it. I'm thinking about writing a one-shot follow up to this but I haven't decided yet.

Also, I'm doing a poll. I want to know which ST2009 you like to read about. I didn't put every couple combo down (there was just to many.) Please go and vote

Like it, Hate it, Want to Print and Burn it? Let me know please. I'm begging.


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